Anything and Everything Your Heart Desires
by FirstYear
Summary: Draco thinks everything is going right in his marriage. Asteria is the perfect wife, the perfect companion, he loves her explicitly. What could possibly go wrong? Written for the Hogwarts Online Forum. Rating for suggested sexual scenes and language.
1. Out of Left Field

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

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**Written for the Hogwarts Online Forum, the Gryffindor homework thread. **

**Prompt: **_**Out of left field**_**. This will be a chaptered story, one that will (hopefully) be updated every two days. I have no idea of where the story is going, because every two days a new prompt will be given which may take the story somewhere I do not expect. Ideas are welcome, as are your comments. **

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**Anything and Everything Your Heart Desires**

**Chapter one**

**Out of Left Field **

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First, they had stopped at Twilfitt and Tatting's to collect the cloak Draco had ordered for her. It was nearly to the floor, a light fawn colour that he found set off her hair and made her skin appear even creamer than it already was. He draped it over her shoulders, declaring both it and her beautiful, before tossing her old one on the counter and telling the clerk to dispose of it. Opening the door, he stepped aside to let her leave in front of him, tisking her thanks away with a wave of his hand and pulling back, not accepting her offer to kiss his cheek.

Walking slowly, with her next to the buildings, him on her outside, they made their way to Wiseacre's Wizarding Equipment. He selected the perfect addition to her toiletries, a handcrafted mirror of the best elfin spun silver, as she stood to the side waiting for him to make the final decision.

"It is exquisite," she agreed with him once he had made his choice, not mentioning that she did not need or have a use for it. One mirror already laid out unused on her vanity as two more took up space in the drawer. "It comes rather…dear."

Draco handed the mirror to the shopkeeper without so much as looking at the price tag, as if in doing so he was admitting he was concerned about such things. Seeing the raised eyebrow of the clerk, he instructed her to order a matching set of brush and comb.

"You will have it delivered," he told the clerk.

"It is small, Draco," Asteria said, laying her hand on his arm. "Why not just take it."

"I am taking you to dinner," he returned, "it is after all your birthday."

She stepped back, refusing to look at the clerk who loudly cleared her throat and handed Draco the bill, a small smile playing on her face at the amount of the sale and the commission she would earn.

Once again, they were on the pavement. Once again, Draco walked next to her as they made their way to the end of the Alley. "I thought we would dine at the Cauldron."

"The Cauldron?" She looked back over her shoulder before tilting her head close to his, careful not to touch him in public. "Are you sure? We could run down to Le Gavroche. I am sure Michel can find us a table even without reservations."

"Yes, quite."

"Hey…Malfoy…how's that father of yours like Azkaban? I hear the cell next to him is empty."

Asteria stopped and spun on her heel, levelling the dunk with an icy glare as her hand found its way into her pocket where she fiddled with her wand.

"Asteria, come," Draco said, keeping his voice calm and even, as he refused to acknowledge the drunken wizard.

"_After_ he gives you an apology," she hissed loud enough for the man to hear.

"I meant nothing… against you Mrs. Malfoy," the wizard hiccupped as he slurred his words. "If'n I had known it was you I wouldn't 'av said anything."

"I see," she said, curling her lip in distaste. "And who else would be walking with my husband if it was not me?"

She saw the man's eyes flicker to her face before dropping to look at the pavement. "Sorry, Mrs. Didn't mean it like that."

"Asteria?" Draco said softly, close to pleading. "Please."

"Of course dear," she cooed, turning back to walk with him, then talking loud enough to be heard. "I just had to scrape some dung off my shoe."

The guests at the Leaky Cauldron became quiet as the couple walked in, watching silently as they were shown to a table. A table that was conspicuously located in the middle of the room. Draco tossed up a silencing spell, not wanting to share his conversation with the rest of the diners and too aware of his position to request a different place. Dropping the charm only when the waitress came to take their orders and later when she brought them their food he felt free to talk to his wife.

"We should have had friends in," Asteria said as she shifted in her chair, unable to get comfortable. "You knew what it would be like, so stop complaining."

"I am not complaining. I am stating a fact," he muttered shoving his spoon in his bowl of stew. "I merely mentioned that the bastards keep watching us."

"Of course they are." She sighed deeply and set down her cutlery, leaning back in her chair to study him. "Draco, look at me. Why did you want to come into town? And why here?"

He looked at her blankly, not understanding the question. Not really, not wanting to admit that he wanted to take his wife out in public to show her off, to show this damned world that they were normal and not hiding at the manor. He wanted her to be accepted for who she was not who her husband was. He wanted her greeted on the pavement by her old friends. He wanted her to enjoy her life. He wanted too much to put it in a simple sentence she would understand. Wanted so badly to have something he could not name and didn't know where to look.

"It's your birthday. I wanted to take you out."

"In Diagon? Since when do you come here for celebrations?"

"We came here….here…," He was at a loss to remember the last time he had sat over a bowl of stew at the Leaky Cauldron and felt like a fool with her sitting there waiting for an answer. "When I was young my mother brought me here at the beginning of each term for tea."

"I see." Asteria pushed her bowl away, a look of disgust on her face.

"Order something else if you don't care for it." Draco looked over his shoulder and waved a waitress to the table. Telling her to remove the dish and bring a menu, he turned back to see Asteria still watching him intently. "Something wrong?"

"I don't know. Why don't _you_ tell me?"

Now it was his turn to shift uncomfortably in his seat and feign interest in his quickly cooling meal. "You're right. This really is terrible."

"Draco?"

"I know, give me a minute." he sighed and waited until he could form the sentence in his own mind before spilling out what he had never said aloud before. "The business isn't doing well."

Malfoy Enterprises was to have been his contribution to the family vaults. It was his way of making a statement that he could do more than sit on his arse and verify the accumulation of interest on his monthly statements or cash dividend checks from the foreign corporations he had invested in. Malfoy Enterprises was his way of shedding the stigma of do nothing purebloods getting richer without lifting a finger.

Already he had hired a staff of twenty- five and once hoped to add more. However, he had been unable to convince the local shop owner's that his import-export business could supply what they needed. Rather, he could not get them to see beyond the Malfoy name. Even the promise of ancient carpets from Persia, scrolls from Alexandria's library or magicked household items had not swayed them.

He thought of Mira, his sales representative, who was supporting two children, of Hank whose wife was laid up in a private hospital still fighting the after effects of the war, of the house payments and rents that would go unpaid if he tossed it in and quit.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, reaching across the table and resting her hand on his. "Why didn't you say something?"

"You shouldn't concern your self with…"

"Stop that. I want to know about you, especially if it is something that bothers you. Can I help?"

"You do," he said automatically. "Just knowing you are taking care of the house and …."

"Draco, I said stop. I know it's important to you."

"It doesn't matter," he said lightly. "It was only something to fill in time anyway. I enjoy the hobby of it."

She began to gather up her handbag and robes as she grinned at him. "Take me home. I know a better way to celebrate my birthday and make you forget work."

"Will it get my head out of the office? I am afraid I have not been very good company as of late."

"Oh, I can think of someplace else I want your head," she whispered, her voice taking on a timbre that Draco recognised well.

Draco was still amazed that Asteria had not only married him but that she wanted him in a way no other woman ever had. Each morning he would lean over the bed and kiss her, careful not to wake her, in awe that this person, this perfect witch, loved him unconditionally. Never had he expected anything more that a subservient wife, not this…not this unrestricted and absolute perfection that he had the right to call his.

He still found himself holding his breath when she walked into the room, or looking at the clock and wondering where she was when she did not. The way she had sat at the vanity preparing for the night out, pulling her housedress closed over her nakedness, a shy bush crawling up her neck, had almost been his undoing today, as it did every time he watched her. He saw her now as he had the first time he had seen her, and had seen her this way every day of the last five years of his life.

"They have rooms here." Draco was glad that his words had their intended effect as he watched her throat heat red and her eyes lock on his. "Wait. Let me get one."

They didn't make it to the second floor before Draco had her pinned to the wall. His mouth sucked at the spot on her neck that he knew would spur her on even quicker, his hands rediscovering every curve and nuance of her body. As her hand slid down the front of his trousers, he choked something unintelligible and dragged her up the stairs and into the room in a rush of adrenalin and testosterone.

In the morning, she ordered a pot of tea sent up from the kitchen and requested that they send out for his favourite scones, knowing that he would not eat unless it was already in front of him. Once the tray with tea, scones, and eggs arrived, she climbed back in bed and woke him the way he always enjoyed.

"What did I do to deserve you?" he whispered later, still panting from his exertions.

"You loved me," she said simply, kissing him full on the mouth before she swung her legs off the edge of the bed. "Eat. Everything is ready and I have to shower. Someone got me all sweaty."

"Do you want company?"

"No," she laughed and swatted him with her pillow. "I have a tea I have to attend. You remember. It's that fund raiser for St. Mungo's?"

"There is a blank cheque in my trouser pocket." He waved his hand at the floor where his trousers still lay.

She stood and began gathering up her clothes from the floor, tossing Draco's to the foot of the bed. "I enjoyed my birthday."

"I didn't know what to get you. Sorry, but I thought if you came with me you could pick out what you wanted. I guess it is the lazy way out."

"It was fine, really it was. The cloak is gorgeous."

"Ah, I know that tone. Now spill, what did you really want?" He chuckled, thinking that a trip to the jewellers was on her list.

"A divorce," she said lightly as she disappeared into the shower.


	2. Not Without a Fight

**Disclaimer: Still not mine. **

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**Anything and Everything Your Heart Desires**

**Chapter Two**

**Not Without a Fight**

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He wasn't sure he had heard correctly, or rather…he hoped he had not. Jumping out of bed and rushing to the bathroom naked, he yanked the door open in time to see Asteria pull the shower curtain closed.

"I told you I don't want company. I am going to be late as it is and if you come in here we will be here all afternoon," she called out, as if the thickness of the curtain was enough to make it hard to hear her.

Ripping the curtain open Draco glared at her. "What do you mean you want a divorce? What kind of fucking joke is that?"

"It's not a joke. Now close the damned curtain and let me finish."

"Not until we talk about this."

"Talk?" She chuckled as she stepped backwards under the showerhead and tilted back her head, letting the steaming water rush over her. "Gods that feels good. I didn't realize how nervous I was about telling you. I feel sooooo much better now that I have."

Draco reached into the shower stall and turned it off. "You _will_ talk and do it now."

"I will do nothing of the sort," she said sweetly, as if commenting on the weather. She pushed him aside and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around herself then slowly dropped her eyes to his flaccid penis and grinned. "Well, it does seem I have your attention."

He angrily yanked a towel from the rack and wrapped it around his waist before stalking into the bedroom where he dressed without further comment. Digging the cheque from his pocket, he flung it on her pillow.

"You may explain yourself this evening." He stood in front of the bureau mirror and inspected his tie, making sure his cuffs were tugged down to the appropriate length before turning to the door.

"Draco, wait." Asteria rushed to the door as he turned to her, relief spreading over his face. "You always forget your handkerchief." She smiled as she dipped two fingers into his breast pocket, pulling up the corner of his handkerchief until only one small corner showed. "That's better. Now off with you, and do try to remember to eat lunch. You get in such a foul mood when you don't."

"Asteria," he said softly, lowering his head to hers as his arms snaked around her. "What did I…"

"This is exactly what I wanted to avoid," she said, pushing him away gently as she took a step back. "Draco, it's really nothing personal. Just…just go to work. I have such a busy day and I don't want to get into this right now."

"How can you stand there and say it is nothing personal. Fuck, Asteria…what else is it? Of course it is personal."

"Do you love me?" She studied his face, seeing the rage that he was trying to control.

"We've been married five years. How the bloody hell do you think I feel?"

"I don't know anymore." She sighed and reached around him to pull the door open. "I will see you this evening."

The door closed behind him and she had to smile hearing him throw up wards on the door, not trusting the lock to hold. They had spent the entire night together with no thought of adding security, but as soon as she was alone his over protective side reared up.

That was something she had found so endearing about him in the beginning. The way he looked after her, the way he questioned her every move, as if with the war so newly over he was afraid to let her out of his sight. She had found it romantic and loving. At her young age, she had thought it was all the things a romance was suppose to be. Now, five years later she saw it for what it was. Controlling and pervasive.

She didn't mind not working, rendering his insistence that she not a moot point. She never had been one to want a job and keep regular hours. Asteria Greengrass had not been a girl that wanted to be anything other than what she was. Finding pleasure in keeping the house in excellent repair and finely decorated she often spent hours to find the perfect vase to set atop an out of the way end table, or spent hundreds of galleons having picture frames re-gilded if they appeared faded. To be the wife of Draco Malfoy was only icing on the cake.

She had loved him. So sure she was that he loved her in return that she had breathlessly thrown herself into the relationship, loosing her virginity and her heart at the same time, thinking it was only some fault on his part that he could not say the words. She blamed it on Lucius, refusing to use the term father for what he was, refusing to acknowledge that the same blood flowed through her husband's veins that flowed through a monster.

She blamed Draco's inability to love, really love, on his mother. That cold shell of a woman that enthroned herself in the east wing, becoming more demanding as the years went by had set an example of married life that she, Asteria Greengrass scoffed at. A wife did not sit by and watch her husband destroy himself. A wife did not keep quiet and play a part. No, Asteria knew, a good wife would send a husband kicking and screaming to his grave if in doing so he was better for it.

At first, Asteria had found the two faces of Narcissa amusing. Her mother face, full of concern and sacrifice for Draco was so convincing that even as a new bride, worried about an intrusive mother-in-law, Asteria had fallen under the witches spell. When Draco had started up his business, Narcissa had announced that she would set up the east wing as her private residence, affording the loving couple privacy in their limited time together.

What she had told Asteria was that she could not stand being in the same room with a cow unless Draco was there to run herd.

Finding his wife in tears, Draco had confronted Narcissa, returning to take issue with Asteria. Thinking back, Asteria would always think this was the first time Draco had raised his hand to her. However, at the time, with him on his knees, apologies spewing from his mouth, she had thought that, as he had said, it was her fault. Her fault for not being more understanding, for not respecting his mother, for not understanding, and the obvious to all but her, for being too young.

Glancing at the clock she almost ran from the room. She didn't want to be late for the tea. As chairperson, she was required to greet guests at the door and start the tender extraction of money from their vaults. Draco had attended the first several meetings with her until he received the roll call and could verify who else was involved. He had done the same at the Children's Trust Benefit, making her think he was concerned about her wellbeing and safety.

Safety, she almost sniggered as she stepped out of the floo into what was quickly becoming known as the 'over-one-hundred-and-fifty-charity'. She didn't need a protector when the youngest man could barely walk unsupported, no more than she needed protection form a room full of women at the Children's Trust.

"Mrs. Malfoy, I am so glad you made it. I was worried," Mr. Fenton wheezed.

"No, no…we have plenty of time. You sit by the name tags," she smiled and patted his hand then leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Don't go giving my seat away now.'

"Wouldn't think about it." He winked and shuffled off, a nervous elf close to his heels, holding up his tiny arms in fear his master may fall.

Asteria had a sudden vision of the elderly elf helping position the old man over a willing witch that he had just seduced and shuddered. So much for Draco's fears, she thought, biting back a laugh. The doors were thrown open and the guests began to totter in, oohing and ahhing at the table settings and already eyeing the exhibit of items for the silent auction that would take place.

When the time came for the opulent display of wealth, Asteria took up a quill and wrote the cheque for 1,000 Galleons. She imagined Draco sitting in his study balancing his statement and smirked, adding another zero to the number.

Later that night she was comfortably ensconced in the sitting room, her legs drawn up under her on the fine damask sofa, a mug of tea sitting next to her when Draco came home. She glanced at the clock, returning to her book, ignoring him when he demanded she put it down and talk to him.

"You are ruining that sofa. The ring will never come out," he said inanely.

She picked the teacup up and moved it to the table. "You're late. I already ate."

"I'm not hungry."

"Two hours late and not hungry? I take it you went out."

"Yes," he ground out as he took off his robes and threw them at Daisy who waited with trembling arms. "Take these and get out."

"She is just doing her job." Asteria waved off the elf after giving it a weak smile.

"If you are inferring that I am seeing someone you can stop right there."

"No, I am merely inferring that you eat out almost every night and come home later and later."

"How long have you been planning this?" He began to pace, then stopped and headed for the liquor cabinet.

"I am not talking if you are going to get drunk."

"Then talk fast before I am."

"About a year now. Happy?"

"Why wait?" He knocked back his drink in on swallow and turned to glare at her.

"I am going to bed. I have had my things moved to the blue room." She tossed her book on the cushion and walked to the door, wanting only to get out of the room that has suddenly turned too close and too hot.

"No you don't." He crossed the room quickly and yanked her arm, spinning her around and pushing her back in the still closed door. "You will tell me what the fuck is going on and tell me now."

"Let me go, Draco. Get your hands off me and let me out of here."

"Why? Why wait a year? Why pretend everything was fine and then do this?"

"Because of this," she whispered, her voice unsteady and shaking, 'of just this. You scare me. You have always scared me."

Draco's face blanched as he pushed her away. "I have never…" He stopped and turned his back on her.

"I know, not for years now, but you still..." She shook her head as if to shake out a bad dream and pulled the door open. "We will talk in the morning. When the whiskey isn't doing your talking."

"I'm not giving you up, not without a fight."

"It's too late, Draco."

"It wasn't too late last night when you were so randy you didn't even want to wait to get home. It wasn't too late this morning when you woke me up by climbing on for a ride," he spat, closely watching her face and glad to see the ugliness of his words had their intended effect.

"It won't happen again," she choked, sobs hitching in her voice as she ran from the room.


	3. Blood, Sweat and Tears

**Disclaimer: Still not mine. **

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**Everything and Anything You Want**

**Chapter Three**

**Blood, Sweat and Tears**

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Draco took a deep breath and fought his natural inclination to follow her up the steps and demand that she talk to him. If he had learned anything in these past few years, it had been that he should leave her alone or be prepared for a row that could take up half the night. Swallowing hard, he closed the door and poured himself another drink, not having the nerve to face her tears and hear her accusations. Never again did he want to be reminded of what he had done or to see her look at him that way again. He swallowed the amber liquid, revelling in the feeling of relaxation and peace the flowed through him as the back of his throat burned and the liquor's fingers of heat gripped his chest.

In the beginning of their marriage he had thought, foolishly so, that she should tell him of how she spent the day, who she had seen, where she had gone. He remembered his own parents as they had sat at opposite ends of the table, his father showing interest in the mundane running of the household and his mother glowing in his compliments of her daily accomplishments. Asteria had met his questions with stoic silence as Narcissa had been left to answer for her.

He had encouraged her to do more around the house, perhaps to remodel the rooms that had been closed since the war, wanting to remove all taint of Voldemort. However, even with Narcissa's help and assistance, they still sat closed and unusable. He had noticed that since his mother had taken up her privacy in the east wing Asteria had exhibited more interest in the home, putting her personal touches on the decorations and taking it on to do more. His eyes went to the tea stain on the sofa and he thought of the care with which his mother had taken in selecting the piece.

He replayed the previous night in his mind, trying to find the one point that had driven Asteria to her declaration. Leaning back in the chair, he rested his head and remembered their morning encounter. She had come to him freely; wanton and seeking her own pleasure as much as wanting to give him the same. He had not seen any hesitation on her face, her voice sultry and deep, had not given him any hint that she was anything but in love with him and wanted to _make_ love with him.

He chuckled remembering the first time she had initiated sex. Not being able to say the word, she had turned red and looked away. Never had he asked for sex from that point on, or suggested it. He had learned early that Asteria Greengrass Malfoy did not have sex. Asteria Greengrass Malfoy made love. And, he thought, made it in the most delightful way. Suddenly he heard her voice replay in his mind…_about a year ago_…she had said, _a year ago_. He snapped his head up, unable to relax any longer and sought out the one person he knew would help him.

"Mother?" He opened the door to her sitting room after knocking lightly and receiving no answer.

"Draco, dear, is that you?" Narcissa's voice came from the next room. "Come in here and sit with an old woman."

He smiled as he crossed the room, knowing that the _old woman_ comment was his mother's way of saying it had been too long since his last visit. Finding her propped up in bed, silken pillows scattered on the floor and her looking beautiful in a hand embroidered gown, he gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek before getting comfortable on the side of the bed.

"Oh, my dear boy, you had a hard day at work. When ever you drink I can tell something bad has happened."

"It's not work. Although that is still doing poorly as well. I will have the new reports sent over."

"It is that woman?"

"Please, Mother, she's my wife."

"I am quite aware of that," she sniffed, reaching for a tissue and dabbing at her eyes. "I hate to see you like this. What has she done now?"

"I…you see….she…"

"An affair? Don't look so surprised. What else would it be at this time of night?" Narcissa sat upright and reached for his hand. "I told you. It was only a matter of time."

"No…no, she said…no," he stood up and raked his hand through his hair. "Do you keep Ogden's?"

"There is a bottle in the cupboard," she admitted, waving him to the door on the opposite wall. "I am only consenting to your drinking in my room as I know how upsetting a spouse's infidelity can be."

"She said there was no one else," he muttered, needing to hear it aloud more than needing to impart the information to his mother. "She has never lied to me."

"I am sure she has not my dear, not intentionally. Perhaps she does have more moral fortitude than I had thought and is trying to spare your feelings."

"She wants a divorce."

"A divorce?" Narcissa whispered. "I will contact the solicitor in the morning and you must…do you hear me?...must be at Gringotts when it opens. Make sure you remove the certificates and any proof of foreign investments…and before I forget …do have the deed to the summerhouse taken out of the vaults. Have you…"

"Mother! Stop!" Draco snarled, disappearing into the bathroom and returning with a glass. "I don't want to rush into this. Bloody hell…I don't want a divorce."

"You are not rushing into anything. You are protecting what is yours."

"I…just leave it alone. She… I don't think she would…no. I will take no action until she does."

"Why ever not? Draco, my dear, dear, boy...it is best to sweep out the old before it goes any further. Just be glad there are no children, at least you do not have to have the publicity of proclaiming her an unfit mother."

"She wouldn't be." He gulped down his drink and flopped into the only chair in the room.

"You don't know that. You know nothing of the Greengrass family. I will have my solicitor look into it. It won't hurt to be prepared."

"I thought you may have some idea what I did. She says she has been planning it for a year now."

"A year? A year… let me think. What happened a year ago?" She was silent for a while, her forehead furrowed in thought. "I really can't think of a thing. That was the time she started her little charity groups. I suggested the Auxiliary but you know your wife. Anything I suggest she is against."

"She never said anything? Or did you ever overhear her complaining about something I did?"

"Of course not." She leaned back on the pillows, feigning exhaustion. "You may want to check with your elf. You did insist she accompany that woman when she went out as I suggested?"

"Yes, yes of course I did." He stood and replaced the glass before bidding her goodnight.

"Draco?" Narcissa stopped him before he could open the door. "Please, do tell her that I am here for her. If you want to keep her I would be more than willing to have a little chat with her."

Asteria was gone by morning. Draco found her note on top of the morning paper, her neat writing and flourishing signature the first concrete evidence that she was really going through with this lunacy. Opening the envelope, he pulled out a small swatch of parchment reading only the time and place of a meeting she had set up with her solicitor. Glancing at the clock, he wondered how she had managed so quickly. _About a year,_ _bitch_, he thought. She had to have been planning this for the entire time. Stalking to the floo, he left in a flurry of soot and green flame. Angrier that he could remember being in a long time.

About a year, he stood still in the solicitor's floo suddenly cold and at a loss. The last time he had been this angry had been a year ago.

It had been a simple misunderstanding, he had explained to her. If she had only told him where she was going and not hidden it, he would have understood. He understood family functions were important. He would have at least granted her permission and sent the elf with her in case she needed assistance.

"Mr. Malfoy" A middle-aged witch dressed in a professional Muggle suit stooped down to verify it was he in the floo. "I am Miss Hayes. When we had this installed, the building codes were so stringent we were not able to make the opening higher. Do watch your head. "

Waiting until he bent down his head and stepped out she smiled widely. "So good you can make it on such short notice. I know this must be difficult."

"Is my wife here?" he ground out.

"Yes, however we need to go over the preliminaries before we allow you to speak to her. This way please." She crossed the lobby and pushed open a door to a large conference room. An oval table sat in the middle with only two chairs, one on each of the long sides. "Before you see Mrs. Malfoy I need to tell you what is going to happen.'

"Nothing is _happening,_" he scowled.

"That is completely up to you," she purred and waved him to the chair on the far side. "Before you sit down, you need to know that the chair is spelled. Once you sit, you will not be able to stand until I exit the room. In addition, while in this building your wand is of no use. Am I clear?"

Draco stopped and sneered at her. "If that is the case I shall contact my own solicitor."

"That is your choice. However, if you do, do so knowing you will never see Asteria again. As I said the chair is charmed. You may stop at any time, this is purely a precaution."

"Explain yourself,' he demanded, his face growing dark with anger.

"To be honest," she said with a small chuckle, "I have been through this before and find that husbands do not like the messenger. I have had my share of … injuries. I am from your world, and although I have no magic am quite aware of what it can do."

"Madam, you are quite safe from me," he said, falling into a formal bow.

"In reading the report and talking to Asteria I agree. We do, however have policies, this being one for persons of your ilk. You see, Mr. Malfoy, although we offer services to magical and non-magical alike, it has always been my experience that wizards are by far the biggest offenders. Not in numbers but by the damage that is done. I have always imagined it due to the secrecy that is already in place and clinging to nineteenth century ways. That…is a discussion for another time."

"I have no reason to…to injure you."

"I have no doubt." She smiled, and nodded to the chair. "However, I have read the file."

He sat down, laying his wand on he table and sitting stiffly, ill at ease and suddenly alarmed when he felt the magic of the chair also restrained his arms.

"Please, Mr. Malfoy, I know what it feels like but you are not on trial here. Far from it. We are here to help you and Asteria. Any time you want to stop I will leave the room and you will be freed."

She opened the file and pushed it in front of him, pulling the pages apart so he could read them. "This is a list of complaints. Think of them as the grounds for divorce, or if it makes it easier as the offenses, she has put against you. Are there any…errors that you see? Any occurrence that is misrepresented? You may take as long as you need."

Draco swallowed hard and let his eyes drift to the page, immediately honing in on the memory that he had just revisited. "That one, about the…the wedding."

"Her cousin's? This one?" Miss Hayes laid it on top of the pile, watching him closely. "Asteria says that you made quite the scene. Apparated into the gathering during the ceremony and made quite raucous in public. Not only were you verbally abusive to her, you dragged her home as if she were an errant child. I believe the exact words that you used are included in the report. Words I must say, I am hesitant to repeat."

"I was…concerned. Upon arriving home I discovered her absence and became…concerned."

"I see, and what were you so concerned about that you reacted this way? You obviously knew where she was if you were able to collect her."

"It was a year ago."

"Tell me Mr. Malfoy, did your wife need your permission to attend her cousin's wedding? Is that why you forbade her to leave the house alone after that day?"

"Enough," he spat. "You know who I am. You must know there are still wizards that would take out their revenge on my father through my family."

"I will make a note of your concern." She said flatly.

"I demand to see my wife. Enough of this…this badgering with your false accusations."

"I will ask her if she cares to see you. However you…."

"No, I will not…leave this room. I demand that you release me."

Miss Hayes stood at once and walked to the door. "I will ask Asteria if she cares to see you. The meeting will take place with witnesses. We will more than gladly set silencing spells."

He stood as soon as the door closed behind her, sucking in his breath as he regained his composer. Yanking the door to the hall, he saw two chairs had been moved to the middle of the space. Asteria sat in one, looking straight ahead. His eyes swept over her, seeing her as the others would. Her hair was pulled back, stray wisps falling free. He fought the urge to push them behind her ear, cringing at the sight of the wrinkled day dress she wore and her lack of make up.

"Mr. Malfoy? The same rules will hold here. She will not know your chair is spelled. It is up to share that or not."

"She is not well," he said, more to him self than to Miss. Hayes. "She needs …she chills easily. She…she has lost weight lately…she..."

"We know," Mrs Hayes said, laying her hand on his arm. "She has been under a lot of stress. We are making sure she is well taken care of."

He visibly squared his shoulders and stood up straighter before causally walking to the chair that sat opposite Asteria and slowly lowering into it.

"I didn't want to do it this way," Asteria looked up at him, her eyes welling with tears. "I wanted you to get help. I tried, I really tried, Draco."

"You need to come home. If this whole thing is about that idiot's wedding, you need to rethink it. It was you that ran off without telling me."

"I did tell you. You know I did. I begged you to come with me. You knew...you knew I was going. I even sent your mother an invitation to accompany me in your place. Ask her."

"I assumed when I refused the invitation you would know it was inappropriate for you to attend alone. It was an embarrassment to the Malfoy name and as such…"

"I am not going over this again," she said lifting her chin. "I can't do it any more."

"I have put everything I have into this marriage. I have done everything I know how," he hissed and leaned forward as far as he could. "I will not have it end this way. What do you want? I have spent a fortune making us happy."

"No, it has been my blood that did that. Every time you hit me, every time you came crawling to me, begging me to forgive you… and I did…that, that made you happy. Every time I sat up all night worrying about where you were, breaking into a cold sweat thinking something had happened, you would find fault in me…that made you happy. Draco, you only ever listened when I was in tears and then put the blame on me.

I love you. I still love you, heaven help me but I do. I can't…I _won't_ do this anymore. You only want me on you arm, so show off, to dress up like some sort of puppet and parade around. I am not your trophy, Draco. I do not need your permission for every thing I do and I will not live if fear that you will loose your temper again. "

"Once." He scowled at her, studying her face as he did. "Why did you choose this place? A squib…a fucking squib owns it.'

"Yes, dear, one more thing to hate and find fault in. One more…"

"Why here?"

"I…I want you to get help. To go into counselling. Miss Hayes says it may work. She read the file and said there is a …."

"Counselling? I will not drag out our private affairs in front of..."

"Fine, drag it out to your mother. She should be pleased by the turn of events." She stood and looked down at him sadly. "Tell her I have no designs on the family vaults or her precious summerhouse that she has told me on more than one occasion I will never step foot in. Tell her she can come out of the east wing now, she has her son back."

"Asteria, don't' do this. Come home with me," his voice choked as he tried to sound normal wanting to scream out in rage as she walked away.


	4. Lost and Found

**Disclaimer: Still not mine, I checked. **

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**Anything and Everything Your Hear Desires**

**Chapter Four**

**Lost and Found**

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Asteria had not heard from the counselling centre or her solicitors for over two months. Although the first attempt with Draco had gone poorly, Mrs. Hayes had held out hope and urged her to go slowly. Divorce was still frowned upon in the magical world. Asteria knew Mrs. Hayes was not only trying to save the marriage but to ensure Asteria's future in a world that was so decimated by the recent war she had wondered aloud if Asteria would ever find another suitable mate to marry.

Not that she wanted to, she still rolled over every night surprised not to find him and woke long before sunrise finding his place beside her empty. Twice Draco had sent her an owl, and although it was against the rules, she had ripped the envelope open, reading them in a rush of relief and tears. Relief that he wanted her and tears that he still did not understand what he had done.

On the second Tuesday of November, she received an appointment card. Mrs. Hayes was sending her to a counsellor in Diagon Alley, having decided that even Draco refused it, Asteria needed to understand that she could survive on her own and not return to the situation at the Malfoy manor.

She prepared for the appointment not knowing what to expect. Locating the address off the main street, she was a little surprised that the building had no sign or other indication of what it was. She stood outside the door uncertain if she should enter. As she was about to leave, it suddenly opened and a young woman that waved her in.

"We don't advertise what we do. Too many wizards are uncomfortable enough without hanging out a sign."

"Oh," she breathed out a sigh. "I thought I had the wrong place."

"First of all you need to know that nothing you say here will be used in any way. Your husband will not know, or your family, only you and the counsellor."

"Who is…I mean is he like a …healer?"

"No, we worked with the Muggle Department at the Ministry. Since the Muggles are far beyond us in this type of thing, we had some of our Muggle Affairs employees take the training, now we are up to seven counsellors. '

"I see," she said, although she had no idea what was about to happen.

"Mrs. Malfoy?" Hermione Weasley stood in an open doorway, indicating that Asteria join her.

"I … I don't know…"Asteria stammered.

"I can assure you that nothing in my past will interferer." Hermione said evenly. "Let's start, just a little talk for today, and if you still feel you want a different counsellor I will gladly step down."

Asteria nodded and joined Hermione, sitting in comfortable overstuffed chairs, small table with a tea service and a box of tissues between them.

Hermione spent the first few minutes give Asteria statistics and pamphlets on domestic violence, telling her how it never got better, only worse but with help there was still hope.

"He has, he…he hasn't hit me for a long time. He promised he wouldn't and I believe him."

"I understand that," Hermione handed her the box of tissue. "It is not physical violence that brought you here."

"No," Asteria whispered, looking down at the tissue she was slowly ripping to shreds. "I mean…he threatens me when he gets angry, and I do get scared…but I don't think he will. He…if you had seen him after the realized what he had done that first time. He…he won't do it again."

"It is common for long periods to go between assaults…."

"No, you don't know him. I'm not saying he isn't capable, or that he doesn't think about it. Sometimes when he flies into a rage, I… honestly, I am afraid he stops thinking and may but that is only me. When he says he is going to do something he does it and he said he would never…never strike me again." Asteria's eyes filled with tears. "You must think I am a naive fool. I'm not you know, not nearly.

I was in the beginning. I was naive enough to think I could change him. Help him. You know, after the war."

"We all needed help," Hermione said softly. "Perhaps I should not be the one to talk to you. The Draco I remember…"

"You remember the boy his father forced him to be. I know what he was like back then. I know what people thought of him and his family."

Asteria stood up and walked along the wall, looking at the pictures, reading the certificates and awards that lined the wall.

"The Manor's third floor has been shut off since the war. One day I went up there to see about sorting it out and maybe opening some of the rooms back up. Not that we need them. We seldom get company. Anyway, I found Draco's old room. "She wrapped her arms around her waist as she paused, still examining the pictures on the wall. "There is a room directly across the hall from his ...or there used to be one…only its been walled up.

Can you imagine? Can you? Really imagine that?" She turned and looked at Hermione. "How could he have gone to sleep with Voldemort across the hall? Can you imagine? Can you imagine a mother that would have chosen that room for the monster? There are other rooms up there. Larger rooms...at the end of the hall. Or…a father that would have allowed it?"

Hermione shook her head, feeling her stomach roll at the idea of trying to sleep while one the most powerful wizards in the world slept only a few meters away. She remembered how Draco had looked at school the last time she had seem him there, the dark circles under his eyes, his lithe frame thin and gaunt.

"He's a good man. A good man that has never had a chance to prove it," Asteria spat, somewhat angrily.

"Listen to you," Hermione said. "You are defending him. In doing so, you are enabling him to continue abusing you."

Hermione went to the bookcase and pulled down several books. "I want you to read these…at least look through them. You have to know that you cannot change him. He has to …"

"Why do you think I left him? Do you think I haven't tried everything I know how and am only left with this...this intrusion into his personal life? Do you think I just woke up one morning and decided to leave? It took me a fucking year to do this. A fucking year," she screamed. "I…I don't even have anyone to talk to any more. I wasn't allowed friends. I wasn't allowed to talk about things, to make plans, to…to …Perhaps it wouldn't have made a difference. Perhaps if I had been allowed to go out it would have only been something else."

"His mother still lives at the Manor," Hermione said, leaning forward and reading the file on Asteria.

"Yes," Asteria said with a deep sigh. "Another challenge."

Hermione held the tissue box out to Asteria who laughed and took it from her, then returned to her seat.

"I cry so much I am not even aware that I am doing it any more."

"You were about to tell me about his mother. Let's start with why you don't feel you can talk to her."

"I was telling you about the third floor." Asteria put the tissue box back on the table before sitting up straight and raising her chin.

"Yes, go on."

"It's cold up there. Even with warming spells, it's cold. I asked the elves to open the doors and light all the fireplaces…then I ordered them to do it. Seems they prefer the punishment than to go up there."

"Did you …sorry," Hermione started.

"Punish them? No, of course not. I did it my self."

"Did it warm?"

"Not in the least. If anything, it only pulled what little heat there was up the chimney and turned it colder. Draco was furious. He said the only rooms he was concerned with were those that Narcissa closed after the war due to non-use. He wanted the ballroom redone, that and the formal dinning room. I told him it was a foolish waste of money and that no one other than his handful of friends would come …not nearly enough for the formal room or for a party in the Ball Room.

He said it was my fault. That if he had not married such a… a cold witch…that his friends would come out to the house more often. They wouldn't … only the few that are like him."

"Is that all he did? He did not …punish you?"

"Punish…no. He never considered it punishment. I was to stay in my room while I thought it over. Not…you understand our room…mine. It is …my…my room when…it is hard…"

"He locks you up when you disagree with him?"

"No, I am free to wander about when he is not home, he just says he wants me to sleep in my own room so I can," she grabbed the tissues as her head fell forward," so I can see what it would be like if I kept it up and he sent me away."

"Yet you claim he is a …"

"A good man, yes." She studied Hermione's face. "She…Narcissa…she makes her elf watch over me. Over the years, I have managed to get into its confidence and at times, it talks freely. Not often, it is rather loyal to the …true Malfoys …but enough to tell me stories of what it used to be like when Draco was young.

Lucius treated Narcissa the same. Only…it seems Narcissa is somewhat more tolerant than I. That or the Blacks were much the same and she came to accept it. Only…in Lucius…there is a cruelty, a part that delights in causing pain. Draco…Draco wants every badly to be normal."

"Narcissa never really knew her mother. If I remember correctly her mother died when she was extremely young," Hermione offered.

"The elf, Daisy she is called, well …Daisy says Lucius used to …punish Narcissa. Making her stay in, even slap her on occasion…or worse, she won't give details. She, Daisy, says that in the first few years of the marriage Lucius took out his …anger…on the elves. Daisy was beaten and treated awfully when Lucius was angry with his wife, which was often.

Do you know what Draco wants?" Asteria said brightly. "Other than a good witch?"

"Umm, no," Hermione stammered, surprised at the sudden change in Asteria.

"He wants to walk down Diagon Alley and have me hold his arm." She laughed at the look on Hermione's face. "Silly, isn't it? He so badly wants to be like every one else. He wants to walk, the two of us, like a normal couple. When we can't, when it doesn't happen he is upset over it.

He took me to the Alley on my birthday. We picked up yet another cloak he had ordered me and yet another hand mirror. When I balked at the price, he added in a brush and comb set to match, tripling the cost. I couldn't say anything. Not in public. That is one of his rules. We don't talk in public. Unless that is, he puts up a silencing spell. I would have caught bloody hell once we got home if I did. He thinks he has to keep up the Malfoy image. Yet, he hates it. He just doesn't know how else to act, what else to do."

Hermione again handed her the tissues and opened her appointment book. "Our time is up. We should get together again. Will next week at the same time work?"

"Hermione?" Asteria leaned forward in her chair. "Do you think it is possible…its not, I know what they say about Voldemort…but do you think it is possible that he … perhaps… he can still influence people?"

"Ones…memory of him…yes, I believe that."

"Not his soul? His spirit?"

"No. Most assuredly not. His soul is trapped. His spirit... forever gone. No."

"I wish I could be so sure." She sighed as she stood and held out her hand. "I don't see what good this did. However, I do thank you for your time."

"My I expect you next week?"

"No, no I don't think so. I think I will give him a month, perhaps two, and if he makes no effort, I will move on. I have my family's summer place in the South of France. I can go to there. I'll be fine."

"Astoria, if you don't come back…May I ask you one more thing? It is very personal. Your solicitor has asked that we get a full picture before she takes it to trial and although we would not normally delve into the more personal aspects of the marriage it may be helpful."

"It depends…what."

"Has he ever hurt you sexually. No, please wait…it is not what it sounds like. Several …mental problems…several illnesses can manifest themselves in complete domination."

"No! Never! I told you…he is a good man."

"I am sorry, Asteria. I needed to ask that."

Asteria again began ripping tissues into her lap before sighing loudly. "It is the only time he lets me see the real him. The only time he lets himself…this is embarrassing."

"I know." Hermione gave her an encouraging smile. "I don't want to hear the details…just what you find important at this point."

"He…he forgets who he is. He once said before he found me he was lost. That's how it feels when I am with him as well. That I am lost without him…that …this is going to sound so clique…but it is the only time I know that he loves me. He's never said so, not once, but I don't need to hear it…it's how he…you know…in bed…when he can be himself…it's how he… umm… treats me."

"Has be been ill lately? I understand that his business takes up a lot of his time. Perhaps he has been feeling undue stress?"

"Not that I know of," Asteria said, her brow winkled in concentration. "He has always had trouble sleeping. If anything it seems better since the business started up."

"Thank you for coming in." Hermione stood and held out her hand. "If you find a way to convince Draco to join us…please do not hesitate to owl."

Hermione watched through the window as Asteria walked away. She knew she should not interfere, she knew that unless the couple both agreed to come in there was nothing more she could do. She also knew that Draco was experiencing what the Muggles called Post Traumatic Stress coupled with the same syndrome that all too many abused children fell into when they continued to perpetuate their own upbringing on their families.

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	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

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**Anything and Everything Your Heart Desires**

**Chapter Five**

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Draco waited until she was back at her Diagon flat before returning to his office. He was fully aware that if Asteria found him stalking her things would deteriorate to the point he would have no hope left. As if things between them were not already bad enough.

_She just doesn't understand_, he had thought more than once. She didn't understand that as his wife she made an easy target for anyone holding an old grudge. She didn't understand that even if she stayed away from the shops in Knockturn Ally the wizards that frequented Knockturn Ally would be in Diagon. She didn't understand, or seem to care, that she turned heads when she passed by.

Two days ago, he had followed her into Muggle London, surprised at how easily she had found her way around, able to duck into the side door of one shop and exit from another, putting her where she wanted to be. He watched as she was greeted with squeals and hugs by a woman she met on the pavement, who then wrapped her arm around Asteria's waist and took her into a hairdressing salon.

He had frowned realizing he could not easily follow her and had paced in front of the shop across the street wondering why in the name of Merlin she would prefer to come here. She knew hairdressing spells that were much faster and if she did not he was sure Narcissa would have helped her. He waited until the inside lights turned off and the sign in the door flipped from open to closed before he realized she must have left the establishment from a different door.

Now that he was satisfied that Asteria was home safely for the night he turned on his heel and headed to the Leaky Cauldron, needing to delay his return home and his mother's insistent questioning. As he walked into the main room, the crowed tables and noise took him aback. Stepping around a group waiting to be seated he strode to the bar and tried to gain the bartenders attention.

"Fuck," he muttered as the bartender waited on three wizards at the far end of the bar, knowing it would take longer than he wanted to wait.

"Yeah," the wizard next to him grumbled. "Know what ya mean."

Draco turned and found himself standing next to Ronald Weasley. "Mr. Weasley," he said politely, nodding his head.

"Still can't say it can ya?" Ron laughed. "So, _Mister_ _Malfoy, _what brings you out on this fine evening?"

Draco curled his lip into a sneer hearing the thick Oxford accent with which Ron mocked him. Turning back to the bar, he stood stiffly.

"Hey, sorry," Ron muttered. "Habit I guess."

"A childish habit I would say."

"I said I was sorry."

"So you did."

"What? You want me to go down on my knees?"

Draco raised an eyebrow and turned slowly toward Ron, looking down at his crouch and smirking.

"Hey," Ron stepped back, "I didn't mean it like that you bloody ferret."

"You have to admit he got you good." Harry slapped Ron on the shoulder laughing. "Malfoy. I don't remember seeing you in here before."

"I am working late. This is the closest place to the office."

"Yeah, the Import thing I read about in the Prophet a while back," Harry said, smiling easily. "How's it going?"

"Fine, fine," Draco lied easily.

"That's not what I heard up at …what?" Ron pulled his shoulder from under Harry's hand, rubbing at the spot Harry had just squeezed hard enough to make the redhead wince.

"Sorry," Ron ginned. "Listen, let's try again. How ya doing Malfoy?"

Draco looked at Harry who only shrugged his shoulders. "I am well, Mr…. I am well Weas…."

"It gets easier," Harry laughed. "Should have me the first few times I had to talk to one of Crabbe's uncles down at the Ministry. Thought I would choke."

"I am well, Ronald."

"Make it Ron," he grinned.

"You are here rather late yourself," Draco said, shifting his eyes from the pair to the barkeep.

"Our wives are out on the town," Harry said. "If you can call a play in London out on the town. We got out of it."

"You let them go on their own?" Malfoy frowned and locked his eyes on Harry.

"Yeah, of course," Harry said, and then suddenly rushed off and sat down at a table that had just emptied waving to the two at the bar. "Over here."

"It needs to be cleaned," Draco said, disgust lacing his words.

"If we wait for that someone else'll get it. Come on." Ronald whistled t the barkeep and pointed to the table holding up three fingers. "They take care of the tables first."

"So, Mal…Draco, does your wife like the theatre?" Ron squirmed uncomfortably wishing Harry had made it clear that he was only signalling him over to the table and not Malfoy.

"We have attended on numerous occasions."

"Maybe she would like to go with the girls. They make a real night of it and then get together the next week to plan the next outing," Harry added.

"Sort of like a book club only they don't read books." Ron offered by way of explanation.

"Perhaps, I shall mention it to her." Draco leaned to the side, giving room for the server to put down a small tray with their drinks. "She is, however, not one to go out in the evening outside of my company."

"Would drive me crazy if I had to tag along every place Hermione wanted to go." Ron shook his head in sympathy. "Bloody hell, she doesn't even want to go to half of the lectures she has to go to and I know damned well she would fall asleep at mine."

"Our situations have no comparison," Draco scoffed. "As my wife is in danger walking unescorted…"

"You're paranoid," Harry ginned as he pushed his glasses higher on his nose and signalled for another round of drinks. "I used to worry about Ginny…you know, the whole rough Death Eaters on the loose thing. Truth is…nothing's happened since the war. Not to either side."

"Yeah," Ron said quietly, looking at the tabletop. "My dad was really bad. I think with Fred, we all…thought Mum was going to hex him if he didn't shut up about it, and let her alone. They had a right row about it they did."

"Tell me about it," Harry chipped in. "Ever have your mother-in-law in bed with your wife while you sleep on the sofa? I can tell you that's all it took for us to get a bigger place."

"And for Dad to give up his complaining if she was five minutes late. We even have that bloody clock and he wouldn't let go."

"As much as I am enjoying your homespun tales I must be retuning to work." Draco stood and dropped enough money on the table to cover the cost of his drinks.

"Remember to tell Asteria about play night," Harry stood and held out his hand, seeing the hesitation on Draco's face." What? Do you thing I'm tricking you?"

Accepting his hand Draco smirked. "Not in public."

"Git," Ron muttered as Draco walked out.

"First time he ever tried," Harry muttered. "I give him credit. That must have been hard for him but, yeah still the git."

Draco returned to the Manor to find Narcissa in the main sitting room, a crystal glass half-full of amber liquid and photo albums piled next to her and stacked on the floor.

"I couldn't sleep," she said, smiling up at her son as he leaned down to kiss her on the cheek. "I thought I would go though these and sort out the ones we don't want anymore."

"What are they from?" He flopped down next to her and picked up the one on top. "These were taken at the summer house ….what …three…four years ago?"

"Five." She tapped the first picture with a long elegant finger and shook her head. "See? She was still wearing her hair down like a schoolgirl. It was taken not long after the wedding."

"Yes," he said, picking up the next album.

"No, now look at the first one and decide if there are any you want to keep."

He flipped the pages quickly, seeing the summer replay in his mind as Asteria smiled and waved happily to him from the pages. "I remember taking this one. The one by the boat house."

"I don't remember that she ever went out in the boat with you but once, and she knew how much you enjoyed it."

"She did several times…just…" He remembered that she had pulled him out the kitchen door and snuck around to the lake side, whispering and giggling. Once they had reached the corner of the house, she had sprinted barefooted toward the shore and down the dock, climbing into the passenger's seat before he could catch her; anxious to be off before anyone could catch them.

"Get rid of it," Narcissa quipped. "We have book after book of the lake. I am sure we have better views of the boat house."

"Where's Daisy? I need a drink."

"Let me." She patted his knee and rose to collect it, leaving him to look through the pictures.

"Who else was there that year? I don't remember."

"Little wonder. You were sick most of that holiday. I hope you remember that!"

"Vaguely. I remember sleeping a lot." He flipped another page and looked up at her quizzically. "So...who else was there?"

"We had the occasional guest for dinner I imagine."

"Just the three of us? Strange…I remember being watched all the time." He laid the book down next to him and picked up the second. "She liked the boat. We went out quite often."

"Of course she would have told _you_ that. No, she only went that once. You were deathly sick after that." She smiled handing him his drink. "It you look at the last page, here…let me find it."

She sat next to him and opened the book t the last page. "At least she looked presentable by the end of the summer. Such a…silly child."

"How do you know we only took it out once…I seem to remember more…?"

"She talked about it often enough. You were…unwell …your must remember the… snake...you were so …despondent I kept you medicated. It was the same potion the healer used after…after the battle at the school." She looked at him oddly. "She did nothing but sit there talking about that stupid boat ride. No wonder you have it planted in your mind it was more than it was."

"No, no…I don't…are you sure it was the same summer and not…"

"It is not I that can't remember that summer…Draco? I was worried to death about you."

"Let it go," he said angrily, turning pages in the book but not seeing them.

"Draco, I only did what had to be done. You were distraught …she ….she agitated you…made you unbearable to be near…"

He looked at her oddly, his brow wrinkled in thought. "There was no snake…was there."

"No, but that is not the point. You saw them every place. In the forest, walking on the grounds…I told you it was just the shadows, or your imagination. Surely, you remember how you were back then. I gave you what potions I thought would help. And…look at you…they worked fine."

He nodded and looked back at the stacks of photo albums she planned to sort out."What do you plan to do with all of these?"

"Well, I have a box I have already put the ones I thought that woman may want."

"And these?" He waved his hand over the stacks at his feet.

"They should be thrown out. Start over, sweetheart. Get rid of her once and for all." Narcissa sat and picked up his hand. "Until you do you will never get over what happened. She… she constantly reminds you of it."

Draco stood and kissed Narcissa on the cheek. "For now I need sleep. Good night, Mother."

"Promise me, Draco. Promise me that you are done with her. You need to find someone that isn't a constant reminder of that damned war and lets you forget it."

"She never brings it up…not…no, not for a long time."

"No! Not since I sent away that damned Healer she had dragged out to the summerhouse. How dare she! How dare she thing some Healer could help you! All you need was time."

Later Draco, unable t sleep, stood at his window looking out over the grounds and sipping yet another drink. He thought of the summer he and Narcissa had just been discussing and found he could not remember it clearly. Nor, he found more alarming, could he remember much between Hogwarts and the end of that year.

Only snippets of time with Asteria seemed to have survived. Only snippets of time that he could no longer trust as real.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

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**Anything and Everything Your Heart Desires**

**Chapter Six**

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Asteria saw him looking up at her window when she opened the curtain to let in the morning sun. She stepped back quickly, not wanting him to know she had seen him. Something had happened. She knew something had happened when she saw he was no longer standing in the space between the two buildings but in the open where he could be easily seen.

She wanted to run down the stairs and open the door and at the same time, she wanted to cower and hide. Peeking out from the side of the curtain, she tried to watch him, tried to discern his mood. Giving up she dressed and put on a pot of tea, suddenly freezing in place at a soft knock at the door.

"I need to talk to you," Draco said into the back of the closed door, his forehead resting on the wood. "I won't even come in. Just open the door and talk to me."

"What about," Asteria spoke on the other side of the closed door, wringing her hands.

"Open it, please. I…I give you my oath…a wizard's oath…I mean you no harm."

She lifted the wards and cracked open the door. Seeing his unshaven face and rumpled clothing, she was at once concerned that something serious had happened to either him or at the Manor.

"Draco?"

"That first summer…we spent it at the lake…" he said, licking his lips only to pause, unable to form a question.

"Draco? What's wrong?"

"I don't remember it. I don't remember anything."

"What do you …"

"Only bits …," he lifted his eyes to hers, "please, just talk to me."

She stepped aside and nodded, letting him walk by her and into the sitting room. "It was a bad summer. You talked about…before…about the war and how Voldemort …you talked as if he were still in the Manor. Don't you remember that?"

"No," he breathed out heavily, not wanting to talk more until he could trust his voice.

Asteria sat on the sofa next to him, turning sideways to look at him fully. "You used to have…spells…that's what Narcissa called them. Do you remember?" She watched as his head shook but did not look at her. "I had only seen it once…right before the wedding. We were going to redo the third floor and make private quarters up there…but you…we never did and then after the wedding you were …ill…not yourself."

"I don't remember," he sighed, leaning back and resting his head on the back of the sofa.

"She, Narcissa gave you calming potions…sometimes with a dreamless sleep. She said it would knock you out…let you rest...she said …you always came out of it. She said it was from some injury during the war."

"I wasn't injured," he said, finally able to meet her eyes. "I wanted to take you the France."

"I know," she smiled. "The entire summer I felt a little over dressed. There we were at a lake stuck out in the woods and I had only packed for Paris. Your mother …"

"We were on the boat."

"Yes, you remember that part but not the rest? I was terrified…truly terrified." Seeing his look of confusion, she continued. "We had made the far side when you jumped out to pull the bow up…to ground it on the shore. The water was shallow but the reeds were dense there….do you know the spot?"

She waited for his nod and continued. "Anyway, you pulled the boat almost up and must have just found solid ground when an adder slid by. It wasn't too big, but it must have startled you. It was all I could do to get you into the boat and send my Patronus for help. You really don't remember? It's where I lost my wand. That's why I needed a new one."

"No. An adder? I…I used to keep them for pets during the summer."

"That's what Narcissa said…that I was mistaken. That it wasn't the snake but …anyway, that doesn't matter. We got you back to the house and you spent the rest of the summer in a stupor from all the potions you took. Then…you were fine."

"What were you going to say?"

"She said it was my fault. I shouldn't have taken you there."

"Why did you?"

She let out a soft chuckle and leaned back. "We had only been married a week and every time you took me to bed she was in the house. I wanted to have you alone."

"Do you ever miss going into the city with your friends?" He asked in a sudden change of topic, remembering the easy way Harry and Ron had spoken of their wives night out.

"I have none left," she said shortly. "You made a point of making sure of that."

He left shortly after that, not saying another word, not answering her many questions and not caring if her solicitor knew he had come. She wiped her eyes, followed him to the door, and watched as he walked down the hall toward the stairs. On a sudden impulse, she ran after him only to stop when he spun around and held up his hand.

"Don't," he said. "Not until I trust myself. Not yet. Not now."

"I love you," she said simply. "I wanted you to know that. Even if you don't love me…you need to know someone loves you. Even if you decide …"

She was in his arms and crushed against his chest before she could finish, her last words muffled against the rough fabric of his robes as he held so tightly she was again afraid of him. "Don't say that. You are the only one I have ever loved."

She closed her eyes as she cried into him, glad that she had at last heard him say the words aloud, but sadder than she had ever been before.

~o0o~

Asteria's birthday came and with it came a letter from her solicitor saying that the writ of divorce could now be finalized, as Mr. Malfoy's recent letter had confirmed he would no longer protest it. _It's over_, she thought. She was free to go and come as she pleased, free to build a life and make new friends. She was free.

Packing for her move to the south of France, she was ruthless with what she kept and what she would send back to the manor. Occasionally she would stop, as she did over a spun silver mirror, and wonder as to its cost and why had he bought it for her. Laying it in the pile of items to be rid of, she continued to pack, finding that what she wanted would fit in two cases.

Perhaps, she thought, she should just throw what she no longer wanted away. However, the memory of the price tag and the outrageous amount of galleons that had been spent on it and all the other things prevented her from doing it. She remembered how Narcissa and picked up a set of hair combs he had bought her with two fingers, as if they had been tainted by her hair. Falling in front of the fireplace, she contacted the owl post to send the items that could be resold to the Children's Relief Auction. She then contacted the chairperson and made the donation in the name of Narcissa Malfoy, grinning at the fact that this was Narcissa's least favourite charity.

As the last of the owls flew from the sill, and she was closing the window, she saw none other than Narcissa Malfoy walking toward the building. Quickly using her wand to levitate her cases to the bedroom she sorted the sitting room, prepared to greet the one guest she had dreaded seeing for a year.

"Narcissa." She nodded curtly, stepping aside to let the older witch enter.

"You have lived here for a year?" Narcissa walked to the chair by the window, a look of disgust evident on her face.

"What do you want?"

Narcissa ran her hand over the back of the chair then examined her palm. She turned back to Asteria a small smile on her face. "I will not be sitting. I do not plan on staying that long."

"Good. How may I hurry your along?"

"You never did like me. Did you, dear?"

"I tried, Narcissa. In the beginning, I tried to understand you and understand why you interfered so much. At first, I thought it was just the idea of your only son growing up and leaving you. But it was more than that."

"You are…not…of our class. Your family, although pureblood is not …how shall I put this so even you will understand? I will only say…"

"Not as subservient? Not as impressed with you? Not as wealthy as the Malfoys? No?"

"You…a Greengrass…dare to speak to me as if I were your…your equal. My son will have a wife that does as she is told and does not drag down the Malfoy name in public. You have been trouble since…."

"You have said enough," Asteria walked back to the door and opened it, standing to the side. "You are in my home now and I am asking…telling you to leave."

"I have never…"

"Good bye, Mrs. Malfoy," Asteria said evenly.

"I came here to warn you to stay away from him." Narcissa spat as the walked to the door. "He is still in a fragile state and I will not have a harpy destroying him."

"Wait," Asteria said, "what are you talking about? Has he been ill again?"

"Ill? Not at all. He has been…resting. A well needed rest."

"Where?"

"That is not…"

"St. Mungo's?" Asteria asked, not needing an answer as she watched the truth flicker across Narcissa's face.

"He was…distraught. He needed…"

"What he needed was a mother that protected him and a father that gave a damn."

"It is no longer your concern. I have had my say…'

"He can't go back to the mausoleum you call home. Not with his room right under where you let that monster stay. Don't you understand? Are you too…"

"The Malfoy Manor is my husbands. As long as he lives…"

"Oh stop. You may convince someone else of your fidelity but I lived there. Remember me? Do you think for one minute I didn't know the reason you moved to the east wing? Do you think Draco was anything but happy for you? Narcissa… you deserve to be happy and if he can give that to you…"

"This conversation is over," Narcissa said, turning on her heel and leaving Asteria to watch after her.

Not worrying about setting wards or locking doors, Asteria grabbed her cloak and hurried to the counsellor's office. Hoping they would talk to her without an appointment and hoping that they had been kept in the loop of Draco's medical treatment.

As she stood sputtering her need to see Hermione, the door behind her opened.

"Mrs. Malfoy…Asteria?" Hermione questioned.

"I only need to tell you something. I don't even need an appointment," she said in a rush. "Narcissa just told me Draco was in the hospital and that she plans on taking him back to that horrid place. Stop her….please stop her. It is evil…he is still there…I felt him…I…"

"Asteria," Draco's voice came from the inner office, preceding him into the reception area. "It is fine. We have had curse breakers in and sorted out not just the third floor but the entire house, from attic to dungeon."

"I…I am sorry I barged in here. I was worried."

"Quite understandable. Will you join us?" Hermione asked, seeing Draco's nod of approval.

"Are you well?" Asteria asked Draco, not hearing Hermione, only focused on him.

"Let's say better. I still have a ways to go…but …better."

"I'm happy for you," she smiled, looking around nervously as if only now realizing she was being watched, relieved when Hermione took the receptionist into her office and closed the door.

"Thank you," he said, stepping close to her. "I am sorry, Asteria. I didn't remember everything I had done. I do now."

"I never held what you did when you were in one of your…your…I never held that against you. I could tell when you …went away. That's how I used to think of it. Oh, Draco…it's all the other things."

"I know," he sighed. "I thought by controlling your every move I wouldn't lose you. It was the way I was raised. The way my father controlled my mother. It's a lot more than that. I know that now. I would very much like to talk to you about it."

"I am leaving for France in the morning."

"Have tea with me? Now. At the Cauldron."

"You don't eat at …"

"I do now," he laughed. "Please?"

She was surprised when he tucked her hand into his elbow as they walked to the Cauldron. Surprised when he greeted one of his employees but more surprised to see Ron Weasley raise his hand in recognition from the far side of the street.

What did not surprise her was his comment that he had rented a room for the night because the smell of fresh paint was still too strong at the manor. Nor was he surprised when she picked up her cloak and started up the stairs.

~o0o~

Over the next, she came to understand Narcissa and would often invite her and her 'friend' to dinner. Since Narcissa and Jacob now lived at the summerhouse, her relationship with her mother-in-law was much better. That and the fact that Draco no longer looked to Narcissa for advice but kept his own counsel and that of his wife.

On her birthday and on special days, Draco would take her to Diagon where they walked along the pavement as every other couple. Meeting friends at the Leaky Cauldron became a habit and on occasion he would join the husbands for a few drinks as the witches enjoyed a night on the town.

He still worried about her and still insisted he knew where she was going and with who. He still made a fuss if she left home without an extra wand tucked away and still bought her outrageously priced gifts. She still complained about his controlling nature but never again had to ask for and receive permission to do as she pleased. And never did she fear him or hear a threat.

One day as they were selecting new china, she insisted they order a service for fifty, he for only thirty-six. Explaining, patiently, that the table in the Ballroom could only accommodate three dozen, he again waited for her explanation.

"Breakage," she said firmly. "You know they can only be spelled back together so many times."

"That's a lot of breakage," he grumbled. "Asteria, if you want the larger set…fine. We will need a bigger china cupboard and the kitchen is already so full it means moving a wall. A wall, I might add, I just moved to enlarge your pantry."

"Fine," she said sweetly as she stood up and draped her cloak over her shoulders, preparing to leave. "Blame me if he destroys them."

"Who? Asteria, just tell me what you want," he ground out, looking apologetically at the salesman.

"Your son," she said as she sashayed out the door and closed it behind her leaving Draco sputtering and fuming behind her.

"My," the salesman said with a grin. "Does she always tell you things out of the blue like that?"

"You have no idea." Draco ran his hands through his hair before jumping up and running after her, shouting back over his shoulder, "No idea what so ever."

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**A/N:** Hope you enjoyed and hope the ending was not too rushed, although I think it is. This is one story that I did not have completed when I began posting and since the readership is so low…lower then a decent one shot has…and only one review from someone other than the person who set the challenge, I see no point to keep going. Thanks to the readers that made it this far…lol… if you care to tell me what you think hit that little review button. Thanks again.

Edited: Okay...so i may change this chapter and finish it correctly...it you are interested hit the alert button to receive an update when i do.

Oh…I chose to use Asteria over Astoria despite the evidence some readers have sent me. Sorry if this bothered you.


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